Sheryl Crow has possessed my mind.

I wasn't a fan 2 decades ago

But — this week — If It Makes You Happy is dominating my subconscious like it did the radio waves of the 90s.

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.
If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?

I'm singing it at the top of my lungs, driving down the coast, and it smacks me in the face:
She's singing to herself.
She's negotiating with the disappointment arriving.

Into my 30s, I know that type of sadness.
I know that it'll be with me regardless of the destination.
But — like Sheryl — I get to choose why I'm sad.
I can be sad doing things that make me happy.

Over 10 years in tech,
I've tried things that don't make me happy —
Giving talks,
Chasing promotions,
Fixating on hearts/RTs/followers,
And gaming Google Analytics metrics for my projects.

Every one of destination felt hollow.

So I'm doing more of what I like —
Writing, podcasting, minding my business, and cooking meals for the family.

Stars, RTs, promotions, and subscriber counts be damned;
You never made me happy.

🎭 chantastic
Ecc. 1

PS.
What makes you happy?
Have you diminished it to gain something that only makes you sad?