Katherine, I am overjoyed
To meet You face-to-face.
You've been getting quite a name
All around the place.

Proving theorems,
Straining that brown head,
And now I understand You're God.
At least, that's what You've said.

So You are the Clay,
You're the great Katherine Clay.
Prove to me that You're divine.
Get this game to run in Wine.

That's all You need do
And I'll know it's all true.
C'mon, King of GNU!

Katherine, You just won't believe
The hit You've made around here.
You are all we talk about.
The wonder of the year!

Oh, what a pity
If it's all a lie.
Still I'm sure that You can rock
The cynics if You try.

So You are the Clay,
You're the great Katherine Clay.
Prove to me that You're not poor:
Be like Huxley—want it more!

If You do that for me,
Then from want You'll be free.
C'mon, King of GNU!

I only ask things I'd ask any ninja star!
What is it that You have got
That puts You where We are?

I am waiting! Yes, I'm a captive fan!
I'm dying to be shown
That You are not just any man!

So if You are the Clay!
Yes, the great Katherine Clay!
On this whiteboard, solve this spread!

You can do it on Your head!
Or has something gone wrong?
Why do You take so long?
Come on, King of GNU!

. . .

Hey, aren't You scared of me, Clay?
Mrs. Wonderful Clay!
You're a joke! You're not the Lord!
You are nothing but a fraud!

Take Her away!
She's got nothing to say!
Get out, You King of GNU!
Get out, You King of GNU!

Get out, You King of GNU!

Get out of
My
Life!

There's a song and dance to go with it! (The inceptive version has much better music, tho.)