Cassandra rode up to the City of Bones, it was sunny
That passé TERF's little screed sent her mind back to fanfic
Draco, the heir to the Malfoys' bad name, was funny
And the site said, "How did this cutting-edge first-timer do it?"
The writing was charming, if a little gauche
There's only so far het Potter goes
She picked out a name and called it Dormiens...
The fandom was raving, and a little proud
They learned that she copied and turned around
It must have been bad that they'd loved her so

And they said
There goes the last great American plagiarist
Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been?
There goes the maddest woman FanFiction's ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

Cassandra got banned from FanFiction.net forever
For her love of sharing quotes in her novels
Filled the books with phrases and worked with the big names
And blew through the process with a laugh and some Buffy
And she loved her book and, yeah, so did they

And they said
There goes the last great American plagiarist
Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been?
There goes the most shameless woman FanFiction's ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

They say she was seen on occasion
Publishing books, scoping out her new trilogies
And the fans got what they wanted
She used the tropes and made sure she was seen
Twenty years is a long time
The Draco Books all survive and they're still free
Free of Authors with power, their plagiarized glowers,
And it's all a part of me

Who knows, if I never showed up, what could've been?
There goes the loudest person this forum's ever seen
I had a marvelous time ruining everything!

I had a marvelous time
    ruining everything.
A marvelous time
    Ruining Everything.
A marvelous time!

I had a marvelous time.