Going through high school into college, I never knew what I wanted to do with my life. Sometimes, I still wonder if I do. I mean, who does (especially when they're still a 20 something living with their parents)? When I took my first programming class in college, as a prerequisite for one of my engineering courses, something clicked though.

There was a curiosity that lit, one that had never been there before. I started to attempt to double major - environmental engineer and computer science, then possibly computer engineer and computer science since that sounded more "logical" though there was no real thought behind the decision. I was still floundering, trying to make sense of this new found journey I could take on. But I found something, right? That was better than nothing?

But still I struggled. The beginning classes were a breeze. The logic of programming simply made sense to me the same way mathematical problems did in calculus classes did. (Yes, I was that girl who enjoyed calculus 2 and 3, and then decided to take linear algebra for fun. Even debated to take the physics classes for the hell of it too but never got around to it) But then I hit a wall when I moved up into the upper division classes.

The guilt goes away when I blame the professors for not being good teachers or acknowledging the fact that they were thinning the herd by making assignments difficult and exams even more so. Classmates who rarely spoke to me after I transferred to university never helped either. But everyone knows typical introvert computer science student's (mostly boys anyway) don't socialize very well as 18-21 year old's.

After struggling so hard, I went and took a break. I worked full time as a teacher for elementary and middle school students teaching them STEM, mostly coding. I had always had a knack for teaching, had done it since I was little. I debated staying in the teaching industry as a career but knew I would never be satisfied with the lifestyle it would provide.

I went on to pursuing business as an aspect of my life. If you haven't seen what I wrote on MLM business models, check out my post here. Worked on that night and day as a full time job thinking it was going to lead me somewhere since I "always had a business mindset". Reality was, I was in the wrong business with the wrong people doing the wrong things. Such as plan that was.

Then since that didn't work out so smoothly and ended up creating some bad memories and bonds, I moved onto real estate. Since I was little, my parents had always been in the real estate industry. With the natural language barrier of being immigrants, it was always a part of my plan to get my real estate license and help with my dad's business. So I first got my notary license within a weekend and started studying for the "big" real estate exam.

During this time, I went back to school for computer science. It was an online school. The teachers never lectured and you simply logged in on Thursdays to find your assignments, did your readings, took your optional self-quiz, and submitted everything by the following Wednesday at midnight at EST. I also started working again after some time, full-time in retail, and struggled enough balancing getting home at a reasonable time and having enough energy to take care of my puppy that remembering to login and do my homework continued to be pushed since "I had a week to get it done". There was simply no guidance or motivation in such an environment that lacked human interaction for me.

But naturally, I kept doing my research and, here I am, coding every day and learning every night! I'm back on the horse and am currently in CodingDojo with a great cohort that always has my back. I love interacting with everyone and learning beside them.

But if I had the chance, I wouldn't change anything about my journey to get back to where I was the first years of college. It might have looked like it took my many years to just end up at square one again, but I wasn't walking in circles. I wasn't putting effort into all those areas and getting nothing back. I was still learning new skills in every area I chose to adventure into whether it produced fruit or not, skills I will bring with me into my career. Also, I learned where I know I wouldn't be happy. I know software engineering is where I feel the most satisfied and fulfilled. There's no second-guessing that anymore. It's where I am meant to be and I'm going to make sure my future breathes it.

Read my article on Coding Dojo here. I'll be posting more soon!

Happy Coding!